The storm flap on men’s snowboard jackets always closes to the right. Pretty much every jacket out there does. If you didn’t notice this then you’re probably regular footed. If you’re a goofy footer then you’re probably well aware of this. LAME.
Say for example you’re hauling ass, clearly ignoring those SLOW signs at your local hill….that storm flap then turns into a g’damn hood scoop and makes your jacket inflate like a fat kid in a donut store. Horrible. Last thing you want to do is be slowed down whilst ripping through some slow zone, let the man catch up to you and try to pull your pass. Aside from slowing you down, the flap on these jackets turns into crotch-to-chin vertical snow magnet. Do you really think that hot snowboarder chick wants to talk to you if you have a big white snow boner running up the middle of your jacket?
WTF…Is the industry trying to keep us goofy shreds down? Are they trying to get our passes pulled and/or not be able to hit on teen-aged girls? Is there some sort of regular foot conspiracy thing going on? I thought we were all bros, bro.
If 80% of all snowboarders are goofy footed* then why are we not equally represented by these storm flaps? Totally wack. If you didn’t know that goofy footed riders held the on hill majority it’s understandable. I didn’t either until i did some science. Check it:
The table below is a sample of a few friends. I randomly picked names out of my brain and recorded which were goofy and which were regular. I then extrapolated the ratio to the rest of the world. *Science says 80% of the world is goofy footed.
| Name | Goofy | Regular |
| Kop-a-feel | x | |
| L-Dizzle | x | |
| JR | x | |
| PK | x | |
| Swappy | x | |
| Clammy | x | |
| Dax | x | |
| Kelson | x | |
| BJones | x | |
| The White Jesus | x |
The Goofy Jacket by Sessions
About 5 years back Sessions made snowboard jackets with storm flaps that closed to the left. Halle-fucking-lujah! Some genius goofy-footed outerwear designer must have infiltrated the company and got these coats into the market. Totally rad, but they only made the jacket for a couple years. I think one of em was a Travis Parker pro jacket or something. Travis Parker is goofy and can probably elude ski patrol.
So anyways….i snapped those jackets up both years and loved em. They helped take my riding to a new level. Without Sessions Goofy Footed Jackets i may have never gained the confidence to keep riding away when the man was yelling at me to stop or talk to girls in the lift line on a pow day–snow boner and all.
I still have one of these jackets that i occasionally ride in. The jacket is hands down the raddest jacket i’ve ever owned. The goofy flap is the cherry on top of a jacket will with all kinds of sweet features. For example, the jacket has a powder skirt, belt loops, hand gaiters, a well fitting hood, and of course style for days. Look good, feel good, ride good right?! 
Last but not least, the goofy storm flap has magnets for closure instead of Velcro. Fucking magnets! More science son!
Alas, the magic is fading. My goofy flapped jacket is falling apart–the stitching is coming undone, the zipper is all geeked, one of the magnets ripped out, and the waterproof membrane is disintegrating from years of Alpental BC hike induced perspiration.
Dear Sessions, help restore the balance. Bring back the Goofy Footed Jackets!
Thanks.
Ahmen, and quit using that new velcro on the sleeve cuffs that only sticks to your touke. Pretty sure magnets are the future.
Ran into a 686 rider dude on a hike last week, who was wearing some new stuff (I think it was next years.. dono). Man.. there is a smokin wind shield vent flap thing that he had that owned the session.. I think it was just a vent without the extra fabric that blocks the vent holes. Anyway I struggled as the wind blew, and he was able to effectivly destroy the pipe with a stock bic. Never been a fan of that brand (mostly just Sessions gortex round here), but any clothing that facilitates or enhances the users ability to participate in gods gifts is okay with me. Ahmen.
not challenged by goofy situation, never really considered this speed resistance and beeoch-appeal issue. now that you mention it, i did notice that current Sessions baker gore pant has front facing zipper flaps which collect pow and is not functionally whatsoever. who’s behind the wheel at Sessions design/r&d these days? Magnets: wonder if even them low powered flap closer ones would have any affect you dudes ipods, iphones, or more importantly any transceiver type mechs? probably not, but…
off topic, but… curious, how many of you nwbro’s fully unplug on the hill anymore? you know silence, unavailable, lost the pack no-text, no-call, no f’ng radios… kill the playlist, listen to the “mtn”… I’ve had a couple high-speed near misses with some banged out 24 inch stance homie oblivious due to last cells trapped between skull-candy on max vol. Think i’ve ridden a total of 3 times w/ music, and yeah man, I get it… BUT. I tell yeah, enabler for mid-week pow-sessions “remote office” or whatever… sure feels good too leave the devices at home IMHO
Here is some useless information on perhaps why you do not see too many goofy footed jackets. Personally, as a goofy footer, this all seems pretty arbitrary, but I am not paid to legislate.
Point 8 of the general notes for Section XI, Chapter 62 of the Harmonized Tariff Code of the United States (covers jackets):
Garments of this chapter designed for left over right closure at the front shall be regarded as men’s or boys’ garments, and those designed for right over left closure at the front as women’s or girls’ garments.
However, it goes on to say:
These provisions do not apply where the cut of the garment clearly indicates that it is designed for one or other of the sexes. Garments which cannot be identified as either men’s or boys’ garments or as women’s or girls’ garments are to be classified in the headings covering women’s or girls’ garments.
http://www.usitc.gov/publications/docs/tata/hts/b...
Alternatively, it could mean if you ride goofy, you’re a nancy, I don’t know.
bitches and hoes, I dunno… just hope it snows
I’m totally stoked on my new Ride gear even though it doesn’t have a goofy flap option and I defiantly catch air and snow in the flap. My jacket even has some snaps, but don’t hold the flap down very well. Seems like Ride got their shit together this year.
The flap thing really isn’t a big deal since I ride switch most the time and have no problem keeping up with my crew.
like 12 of my friends girlfriends work for outerwear designers. i've asked each of them to make me a custom coat based on this jacket. i'd pay a lot of money.
someone make me this coat.
riding switch is hard.
ive got a burton ak jacket. no flap at all. just a really good, heavy duty, taped zipper. problem solved.
the two regular dudes on this list are the two baddest, also.
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true. good sarfez also.